Bag Deposit Program

The number of plastic bags wasted is sickening. Every time you shop, it all gets not just bagged, but double bagged. Even when you buy a soda, they put it in a bag. I've seen people buy a soda, accept the bag, walk 5 feet to a garbage can, then remove the soda and throw away the bag. Please get in the habit of saying "I don't need a bag" when you don't need a bag! Or if it's too late, just remove your soda from the bag right there at the counter instead of walking 5 feet to throw it out!

Americans use 100 billion plastic bags per year, and guess what they're made of? If you said 100% renewable sunshine and seawater, immediately deduct 5 points from your score! If you said petroleum, the same stuff we need to drive cars, and the same stuff we finance terror-sponsoring regions of the world to get more of, then you gain 5 points (and lose 1 hour of sleep!).

Obviously it's time for reusable bags. But the problem there is it's such an annoying pain in the ass to carry bags with you every time you think you might go shopping, and try to anticipate exactly how many bags you'll need. For those living outside of New York, keeping your car stocked with cloth bags seems reasonable, and then you carry them with you into the grocery store. But still, you have to guess how many to bring into the store. Annoying!

Here's my solution: we need a national reusable bag program with deposits on the bags, similar to the ones we currently have on glass bottles and aluminum cans. When you go shopping, the store gives you all the sturdy reusable bags you need at a cost of $2 each, and then at your leisure you bring them to your corner store or any other participating store (with mandatory participation for all stores!) to get your deposit back. You could even let the bags collect for a while in your apartment, then bring them back en masse at the end of the month. This way bags are always there when you need them at the store without any forethought required, and we still get all the benefits of reusing bags.

I'd bet that the cost of the program would even be covered by the slippage rate (the rate at which people don't bother to return their bags) plus interest on the cash deposits, but in any case whatever the cost (which I'd anticipate to be modest), it's a good investment -- if this isn't what government is for, then I don't know what is.

It seems so simple (simple is good, contrary to what I was taught by 70's TV shows as a kid where I repeatedly heard the phrase "that plan is so crazy, it just might work!"). This is a plan so simple, it's bound to work! And it's so much more effective than these pathetic "awareness" (a.k.a. "guilt") programs to try to encourage people to bring their own bags every time they shop, cuz that's never gonna happen, nor should it! That imposes too much of a burden to our free and spontaneous way of life -- that plan is thankfully D.O.A.

This plan however imposes almost no burden to our way of life, and it works better, too, because there's no need to estimate in advance (so no risk of misjudging and needing extra bags). To put it into terms that corporate retards can understand, "the net-net is, it's a win-win for everyone."